Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
Payback
I got this email the other day and I felt like it might have been written by me but I needed to add a few more items.
Uncle! Mercy!
To make myself feel better I’m writing a list of what I plan to do to my children’s homes when I visit them, which will be often and for several weeks at a time.
1. I will pee all over the toilette seat and heck, maybe on the floor and if I’m still agile enough I’ll aim some at the wall and I will never flush the toilette, ever. Or wash my hands.
2. I’m going to spill every beverage I’m handed on the counter top and then to be helpful I’ll use every paper napkin available to clean it up then leave the soggy napkins to dry so they are glued permanently to the Formica.
3. I’ll drop my clothes in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, the foyer, the porch, the basement and leave a few socks in their car.
4. I’m going to pack the largest suitcase I can find with five bazillion Legos to drop in the toilette, the sink and in the fireplace. I’ll sprinkle them in the yard, chuck a few in the garage and then like a flower girl I will promenade through the house and lightly dust every room with a covering of colorful plastic, oh the glee.
5. I will bring with me an entire tube of toothpaste and on the last day I’m at their house I will brush my teeth and then smear toothpaste in the sink on the floor, the mirror, the tub and I’ll rub some in the carpet with my foot and then toss the empty tube in a drawer without the cap.
6. I will take all their DVDs and CDs and put them in the wrong cases,and leave a few empty.
7. I’ll hide all their remotes and cordless phones. And remove all the batteries.
8. I’ll go into their closets and try on all their shoes and then throw them out of the closet in a big pile when I’m done.
9. I’ll open every packaged food item and then leave it open and place it precariously on the edge of the shelf in the pantry so when they open the door the bag will tip out and spill the entire bag of chips, cheerios, nuts, pretzels and what have you all over the floor.
10. I will use every towel they own.
11. I will offer to sweep up some of the spilled pantry items and then dump the dustpan into their car.
12. I’ll hold a handful of Hershey kisses in my hands until they’really nice and gooey and then I will finger paint the windows, just cuz.
13. I’ll stand in one spot, preferably their bedroom and hold the trigger of a full can of wretched smelling Lysol until it fizzes out, leaving the fumes to cascade around the room for days.
14. I’ll offer to do their laundry and then dump it all in their closet.
15. I’ll hide half eaten Oreo cookies under all the couch cushions.
16. I’ll accidentally break one precious thing or maybe two.
17. I’ll smear honey on all the door knobs.
18. I’ll cry, whine and act sick if they ask me to help clean up.
19. I’ll beg for all my friends to come over when I’ve got the house looking really ripe.
20. I’ll look around and swear repeatedly that the house doesn’t look that messy, and then I’ll line them up, give them a hug, a kiss and wave goodbye,until next time….
Some items I thought I would need to add
21. I will open a ding dong in the car, take it out of its wrapper, put it on the floor board of the car and step on it. Of course I wouldn't tell them so that it could melt all over the place before it is cleaned up.
22. I would ask to have friends over then steal their toys and punch them just to watch them cry.
23. I would wait until their youngest was asleep and then I would go out and repeatedly ring the doorbell just to see if it wakes them up.
24. I would get toothpaste and my own wet hands and put smears all over the mirror in the bathroom right after they had cleaned it.
25. I would ask to go a public park and then break a bottle in multiple pieces by dropping it multiple times. Just cuz.
Seriously, these are just a few things that has happened this week.
Uncle! Mercy!
To make myself feel better I’m writing a list of what I plan to do to my children’s homes when I visit them, which will be often and for several weeks at a time.
1. I will pee all over the toilette seat and heck, maybe on the floor and if I’m still agile enough I’ll aim some at the wall and I will never flush the toilette, ever. Or wash my hands.
2. I’m going to spill every beverage I’m handed on the counter top and then to be helpful I’ll use every paper napkin available to clean it up then leave the soggy napkins to dry so they are glued permanently to the Formica.
3. I’ll drop my clothes in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, the foyer, the porch, the basement and leave a few socks in their car.
4. I’m going to pack the largest suitcase I can find with five bazillion Legos to drop in the toilette, the sink and in the fireplace. I’ll sprinkle them in the yard, chuck a few in the garage and then like a flower girl I will promenade through the house and lightly dust every room with a covering of colorful plastic, oh the glee.
5. I will bring with me an entire tube of toothpaste and on the last day I’m at their house I will brush my teeth and then smear toothpaste in the sink on the floor, the mirror, the tub and I’ll rub some in the carpet with my foot and then toss the empty tube in a drawer without the cap.
6. I will take all their DVDs and CDs and put them in the wrong cases,and leave a few empty.
7. I’ll hide all their remotes and cordless phones. And remove all the batteries.
8. I’ll go into their closets and try on all their shoes and then throw them out of the closet in a big pile when I’m done.
9. I’ll open every packaged food item and then leave it open and place it precariously on the edge of the shelf in the pantry so when they open the door the bag will tip out and spill the entire bag of chips, cheerios, nuts, pretzels and what have you all over the floor.
10. I will use every towel they own.
11. I will offer to sweep up some of the spilled pantry items and then dump the dustpan into their car.
12. I’ll hold a handful of Hershey kisses in my hands until they’really nice and gooey and then I will finger paint the windows, just cuz.
13. I’ll stand in one spot, preferably their bedroom and hold the trigger of a full can of wretched smelling Lysol until it fizzes out, leaving the fumes to cascade around the room for days.
14. I’ll offer to do their laundry and then dump it all in their closet.
15. I’ll hide half eaten Oreo cookies under all the couch cushions.
16. I’ll accidentally break one precious thing or maybe two.
17. I’ll smear honey on all the door knobs.
18. I’ll cry, whine and act sick if they ask me to help clean up.
19. I’ll beg for all my friends to come over when I’ve got the house looking really ripe.
20. I’ll look around and swear repeatedly that the house doesn’t look that messy, and then I’ll line them up, give them a hug, a kiss and wave goodbye,until next time….
Some items I thought I would need to add
21. I will open a ding dong in the car, take it out of its wrapper, put it on the floor board of the car and step on it. Of course I wouldn't tell them so that it could melt all over the place before it is cleaned up.
22. I would ask to have friends over then steal their toys and punch them just to watch them cry.
23. I would wait until their youngest was asleep and then I would go out and repeatedly ring the doorbell just to see if it wakes them up.
24. I would get toothpaste and my own wet hands and put smears all over the mirror in the bathroom right after they had cleaned it.
25. I would ask to go a public park and then break a bottle in multiple pieces by dropping it multiple times. Just cuz.
Seriously, these are just a few things that has happened this week.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
That's Just Rude
Not only do the neighbourhood dogs crap on my side walk, yard and in my flowerbed, they do it on my bushes. Really that is just RUDE.
Just in case you need a closer look. haha Do you recognize it. Beware I am out for blood. If I ever actually catch him or her it will not be pretty.
Amazing
Ti - 3 Months
Ti is now 3 months old. Right after he turned three months he slept through the night a couple of times. He is not consistently doing this yet. He weighs over 13 lbs. He is generally a happy baby and his brothers love him very much.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Not Me Monday
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to http://www.mycharmingkids.net">her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
I would never forget to leave tooth fairy money.
My four year old son would not make a comment about the bridge of his father's nose. Honestly what four year old knows what the bridge of your nose is.
I would not wake up at three a.m. and turn the baby monitor on thinking I could not hear my child crying since he had not gotten up yet during the night. And if I had done that it would not take me an hour to go back to sleep and then I wouldn't wake up at six a.m. and start doing laundry. Really I am a good sleeper.
I would never let my son go to ball practice thinking he was sick. And of course he would then not proceed to barf as soon as he walked up to the dug out. Of course after coming home from baseball pictures that same afternoon I would not leave him in the yard blowing chunks while yelling back to him I would go get his dad.
My husband did not say that brushing your teeth was optional while camping and that putting deodorant on was not an option. Really all of my children brush their teeth every day.
I would not let my four year old choose to eat ice cream and french fries for supper. Really we always are very healthy eaters.
I would never take the time to write some stuff that happened just this week on my blog while I should be getting ready to leave for a baseball game. Really I prioritize my day better than that.
So what did you not do this week.
I would never forget to leave tooth fairy money.
My four year old son would not make a comment about the bridge of his father's nose. Honestly what four year old knows what the bridge of your nose is.
I would not wake up at three a.m. and turn the baby monitor on thinking I could not hear my child crying since he had not gotten up yet during the night. And if I had done that it would not take me an hour to go back to sleep and then I wouldn't wake up at six a.m. and start doing laundry. Really I am a good sleeper.
I would never let my son go to ball practice thinking he was sick. And of course he would then not proceed to barf as soon as he walked up to the dug out. Of course after coming home from baseball pictures that same afternoon I would not leave him in the yard blowing chunks while yelling back to him I would go get his dad.
My husband did not say that brushing your teeth was optional while camping and that putting deodorant on was not an option. Really all of my children brush their teeth every day.
I would not let my four year old choose to eat ice cream and french fries for supper. Really we always are very healthy eaters.
I would never take the time to write some stuff that happened just this week on my blog while I should be getting ready to leave for a baseball game. Really I prioritize my day better than that.
So what did you not do this week.
BAD BAD PARENTS
Noah walks into our room this morning and says "She didn't even leave a penny"
Noah lost a tooth last Friday at school. It had been loose for a while. He told me he had asked few people to try to punch it out at school. The good mom that I am said "Don't be asking people to punch you in the face, it could hurt". Friday when I picked him up from school he quickly told me he was hit by accident with a basketball and that knocked it looser and then he pulled it out.
Anyway we went camping and forgot to take it with us. So finally on Sunday night we put it under his pillow. He knows we are the tooth fairy but he plays along with it to get the money. Now that's my boy. He hinted around about getting the five I had from the tooth fairy. I quickly told him that his tooth fairy was not that rich.
So finally, last night we remember to put it under his pillow and we completely forgot to give him any money. I am totally blaming it on Timmy. It was his job because he is the one that usually does it.
Just another incident to prove that we are not the perfect parents.
P.S. Don't worry. Before he left the bedroom this morning I told him she probably forgot and I was sure she would remember the next night.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Off With The Training Wheels
This weekend we went camping. Yes, it was very cold but that didn't stop us from having a good time and Andrew learning how to ride a bike without training wheels. I will post more pictures of camping on a separate post. I thought learning to ride a bike is such a big deal that it should be its own separate post.
As soon as we got there Andrew decided to he needed his training wheels taken off. We don't have a great place to ride at our house so camping was the perfect time to learn. It was pretty flat and paved. After trying a couple of times he decided he wanted his training wheels put back on. We obliged, but Timmy put them where they were not completely touching the ground. He rode around all Saturday morning like this. About an hour before we decided to head home he decided he wanted to give it another try. He is so brave about trying new things. I think he has a high threshold of pain. Anyway this time he figured it out. We were all so proud of him.
Here are some pictures of the big event.
Andrew "I Can Do This, I think"
Here is Dad explaining the fine techniques of keeping your balance.
Mom trying to keep up, and keep anyone from getting hurt.Look!!!! I am getting the hang of thisJust a few booboos. He didn't even cry. He is so tough. He is trying to look sad in this picture.
Off he goes. Nothing can stop him now. It is the getting started he still needs to figure out.
Click on the links below to see some video of the big event.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFTNYHYLso8
I am not smart enough to put both of the videos on the same post without doing it this way.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Cool Mom
Wouldn't everyone want to eat tomato soup and grill cheese sandwiches for supper if their sandwiches looked like this. YES, they are heart shaped.
I had these sandwiches left over from a brunch I did. I was so proud of myself. I am not going to get to blog about the brunch because I forgot to take any pictures. RATS
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Only In Arkansas
Only in Arkansas can you drive behind someone that opens their door at every stop light to spit. Of course they must have just moved here because if you were a true Arkansan you could role down your window going 60 and spit a big old loogie out and not get it on your car or you face. You have to know the correct technique of spitting into the wind. My dad could give lessons if anyone is interested.
Only in Arkansas can you go by the local car wash and see someone washing his dog.
Only in Arkansas does your neighbour pull his lawnmower behind his four wheeler to mow his grass.
Only in Arkansas can you see a mom breastfeeding a baby at a machine pitch baseball game. And she can still be the loudest mom out there. We won't mention any names.
These are just a few of the things that I experienced today. hahaha
Only in Arkansas can you go by the local car wash and see someone washing his dog.
Only in Arkansas does your neighbour pull his lawnmower behind his four wheeler to mow his grass.
Only in Arkansas can you see a mom breastfeeding a baby at a machine pitch baseball game. And she can still be the loudest mom out there. We won't mention any names.
These are just a few of the things that I experienced today. hahaha
Fishing
This was our first fishing trip of the summer. We usually go down to the river by our house. We can usually catch perch and sometimes a few small bass. We fish with worms so therefore most of the time during the summer I have worms in my refrigerator. Ooh the life with boys. Anyway we caught a couple of perch and a small bass on this fishing trip. Noah is pretty good at casting and we make him bait his own hook. I grew up where if you didn't bait your own hook you didn't get to fish. I am not making Andrew bait his own hook yet. He really doesn't usually fish much because he is to busy talking loud, throwing rocks in the water or falling in himself. He hasn't started following good fishing etiquette yet. Oh well we still usually all have a good time.
Yes, this is Noah in the background casting. Guess how many times I have to tell him to watch what he is doing. The first time I get a hook in the face, there won't nobody be happy.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Rain - Good for Something
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Look Whose Smiling
Do you know how hard it is to get a picture of a baby actually smiling and looking at you at the same time? Ti started smiling at about 2.5 months old. He weighs about 12 pounds and is starting to sleep a little better at night. I think he is getting cuter every day. Of course I might be biased being the mom and all.
Not Me Monday - late
I have decided to do another Not Me Monday Entry. If you would like to join me in letting everyone no how life actually is please feel free.
I would never cut heart sandwiches and throw the rest of the edges away just to be a cool mom. That would be totally wasteful right?
I would never turn the baby monitor off at night just to get some sleep. Especially since you can only hear the real loud screaming from our room to Titus'.
I would never tell the boys to come look at a dead mouse we caught in a trap. Really that would just be gross.
I would not mow my grass while it was still damp and leave big clods of grass in my yard just because I thought it would rain the rest of the week. Really everybody knows I am the yard Nazi.
I would not wear the same pair of sweatpants two days in a row because I didn't want to dirty up a new pair since I was going to be mowing. And I would never go out in public in said sweatpants and then see tons of people I know.
I would never eat two pieces of cake with ice cream right before going to bed. Especially since I know I still can't fit into my old clothes very good. And I would never blog about that while eating oreos and ice cream and drinking a vanilla coke. Man that makes me feel fat just typing it out.
I would never catch my four year old setting on top of our car by looking out the bathroom window. And this four year would never try to deny it by saying you couldn't see me.
These are just a few of the things that I haven't done lately. What about you?
I would never cut heart sandwiches and throw the rest of the edges away just to be a cool mom. That would be totally wasteful right?
I would never turn the baby monitor off at night just to get some sleep. Especially since you can only hear the real loud screaming from our room to Titus'.
I would never tell the boys to come look at a dead mouse we caught in a trap. Really that would just be gross.
I would not mow my grass while it was still damp and leave big clods of grass in my yard just because I thought it would rain the rest of the week. Really everybody knows I am the yard Nazi.
I would not wear the same pair of sweatpants two days in a row because I didn't want to dirty up a new pair since I was going to be mowing. And I would never go out in public in said sweatpants and then see tons of people I know.
I would never eat two pieces of cake with ice cream right before going to bed. Especially since I know I still can't fit into my old clothes very good. And I would never blog about that while eating oreos and ice cream and drinking a vanilla coke. Man that makes me feel fat just typing it out.
I would never catch my four year old setting on top of our car by looking out the bathroom window. And this four year would never try to deny it by saying you couldn't see me.
These are just a few of the things that I haven't done lately. What about you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)