Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
To make myself feel better I’m writing a list of what I plan to do to my children’s homes when I visit them, which will be often and for several weeks at a time.
1. I will pee all over the toilette seat and heck, maybe on the floor and if I’m still agile enough I’ll aim some at the wall and I will never flush the toilette, ever. Or wash my hands.
2. I’m going to spill every beverage I’m handed on the counter top and then to be helpful I’ll use every paper napkin available to clean it up then leave the soggy napkins to dry so they are glued permanently to the Formica.
3. I’ll drop my clothes in the bathroom, the living room, the kitchen, the foyer, the porch, the basement and leave a few socks in their car.
4. I’m going to pack the largest suitcase I can find with five bazillion Legos to drop in the toilette, the sink and in the fireplace. I’ll sprinkle them in the yard, chuck a few in the garage and then like a flower girl I will promenade through the house and lightly dust every room with a covering of colorful plastic, oh the glee.
5. I will bring with me an entire tube of toothpaste and on the last day I’m at their house I will brush my teeth and then smear toothpaste in the sink on the floor, the mirror, the tub and I’ll rub some in the carpet with my foot and then toss the empty tube in a drawer without the cap.
6. I will take all their DVDs and CDs and put them in the wrong cases,and leave a few empty.
7. I’ll hide all their remotes and cordless phones. And remove all the batteries.
8. I’ll go into their closets and try on all their shoes and then throw them out of the closet in a big pile when I’m done.
9. I’ll open every packaged food item and then leave it open and place it precariously on the edge of the shelf in the pantry so when they open the door the bag will tip out and spill the entire bag of chips, cheerios, nuts, pretzels and what have you all over the floor.
10. I will use every towel they own.
11. I will offer to sweep up some of the spilled pantry items and then dump the dustpan into their car.
12. I’ll hold a handful of Hershey kisses in my hands until they’really nice and gooey and then I will finger paint the windows, just cuz.
13. I’ll stand in one spot, preferably their bedroom and hold the trigger of a full can of wretched smelling Lysol until it fizzes out, leaving the fumes to cascade around the room for days.
14. I’ll offer to do their laundry and then dump it all in their closet.
15. I’ll hide half eaten Oreo cookies under all the couch cushions.
16. I’ll accidentally break one precious thing or maybe two.
17. I’ll smear honey on all the door knobs.
18. I’ll cry, whine and act sick if they ask me to help clean up.
19. I’ll beg for all my friends to come over when I’ve got the house looking really ripe.
20. I’ll look around and swear repeatedly that the house doesn’t look that messy, and then I’ll line them up, give them a hug, a kiss and wave goodbye,until next time….
Some items I thought I would need to add
21. I will open a ding dong in the car, take it out of its wrapper, put it on the floor board of the car and step on it. Of course I wouldn't tell them so that it could melt all over the place before it is cleaned up.
22. I would ask to have friends over then steal their toys and punch them just to watch them cry.
23. I would wait until their youngest was asleep and then I would go out and repeatedly ring the doorbell just to see if it wakes them up.
24. I would get toothpaste and my own wet hands and put smears all over the mirror in the bathroom right after they had cleaned it.
25. I would ask to go a public park and then break a bottle in multiple pieces by dropping it multiple times. Just cuz.
Seriously, these are just a few things that has happened this week.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
I took these pictures of the roses that I am trying to grow up the side of my front porch.
Monday, May 18, 2009
I would never forget to leave tooth fairy money.
My four year old son would not make a comment about the bridge of his father's nose. Honestly what four year old knows what the bridge of your nose is.
I would not wake up at three a.m. and turn the baby monitor on thinking I could not hear my child crying since he had not gotten up yet during the night. And if I had done that it would not take me an hour to go back to sleep and then I wouldn't wake up at six a.m. and start doing laundry. Really I am a good sleeper.
I would never let my son go to ball practice thinking he was sick. And of course he would then not proceed to barf as soon as he walked up to the dug out. Of course after coming home from baseball pictures that same afternoon I would not leave him in the yard blowing chunks while yelling back to him I would go get his dad.
My husband did not say that brushing your teeth was optional while camping and that putting deodorant on was not an option. Really all of my children brush their teeth every day.
I would not let my four year old choose to eat ice cream and french fries for supper. Really we always are very healthy eaters.
I would never take the time to write some stuff that happened just this week on my blog while I should be getting ready to leave for a baseball game. Really I prioritize my day better than that.
So what did you not do this week.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Here are some pictures of the big event.
Andrew "I Can Do This, I think"
Mom trying to keep up, and keep anyone from getting hurt.Look!!!! I am getting the hang of thisJust a few booboos. He didn't even cry. He is so tough. He is trying to look sad in this picture.
Off he goes. Nothing can stop him now. It is the getting started he still needs to figure out.
Click on the links below to see some video of the big event.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Only in Arkansas can you go by the local car wash and see someone washing his dog.
Only in Arkansas does your neighbour pull his lawnmower behind his four wheeler to mow his grass.
Only in Arkansas can you see a mom breastfeeding a baby at a machine pitch baseball game. And she can still be the loudest mom out there. We won't mention any names.
These are just a few of the things that I experienced today. hahaha
Andrew had the job of sticking the pacifier back in . Ti was just hanging out in his carrier. He finally went to sleep. He wasn't to interested in the fishing thing.
Here is the first catch of the evening.
This was a small bass. I hooked it and Noah reeled it in.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Do you know how hard it is to get a picture of a baby actually smiling and looking at you at the same time? Ti started smiling at about 2.5 months old. He weighs about 12 pounds and is starting to sleep a little better at night. I think he is getting cuter every day. Of course I might be biased being the mom and all.
I would never cut heart sandwiches and throw the rest of the edges away just to be a cool mom. That would be totally wasteful right?
I would never turn the baby monitor off at night just to get some sleep. Especially since you can only hear the real loud screaming from our room to Titus'.
I would never tell the boys to come look at a dead mouse we caught in a trap. Really that would just be gross.
I would not mow my grass while it was still damp and leave big clods of grass in my yard just because I thought it would rain the rest of the week. Really everybody knows I am the yard Nazi.
I would not wear the same pair of sweatpants two days in a row because I didn't want to dirty up a new pair since I was going to be mowing. And I would never go out in public in said sweatpants and then see tons of people I know.
I would never eat two pieces of cake with ice cream right before going to bed. Especially since I know I still can't fit into my old clothes very good. And I would never blog about that while eating oreos and ice cream and drinking a vanilla coke. Man that makes me feel fat just typing it out.
I would never catch my four year old setting on top of our car by looking out the bathroom window. And this four year would never try to deny it by saying you couldn't see me.
These are just a few of the things that I haven't done lately. What about you?