I am such a planner. I like everything in order and know how the day should play out. Well God doesn't seem to want to work around my schedule and my plans. He seems to have his own and He is wanting me to just follow.
Last week was hard. It started out with some uncomfortable discussions with people and then went down hill from there. I really wanted God to see my point of view on some things and He just kept on saying your problems are so petty. Really God they are huge just look what is going on. No Bekah they are definitely petty (in his big God voice). A little boy that we go to church with broke his leg and will be in cast for six weeks up to his waste. Okay God my issues are a little petty. A girl that Tim and I went to school with lost her 3.5 year old son in a accident. (please pray for this family) Okay God, you are right my issues are a lot petty.
So while I was praying for direction in my petty situation God wouldn't give me a peace. I knew what I wanted to do. Throw up my hands and quit. Really I have a very good excuse. I am tired of having to work at being nice. God wouldn't allow it. My prayers went something like this.... God don't you think this would be best. ( I wanted to make Him think it was His idea...Oh how God must laugh at me) How can I be who you want me to be in this conflict. This situation will not be improving anytime in the near future. I like things a certain way, have I ever mentioned that I am a little OCD about things being correct. What I don't understand is why it doesn't bother everyone else for something to be wrong. lol Anyway, I prayed and prayed for peace in backing off of some situations. Yesterday God showed me that he knew some events were going to take place that I would be needed to stay where I was at. You would think that God knows the future or something like that. lol
Anyway I read a post today about praying to God. This child wanted to pray a 1000 times for God to do something instead of praying for peace or resting in His sovereignty. I might have been a little bit convicted at this point. Just a little.... okay maybe a lot. God knows my heart, he knows my inmost desires. Was it useless for me to continually tell God how I wanted things to be? Oh he wants me to communicate with him but I bet He remembers what I have said without me having to repeat myself. Now if I could only remember that God can work things out with out my help or my pleading. He is just God like that.